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an adult and her school mood now..:(

Searched a lot ,delved deep,too far into those long forgotten times..
my school days,those little innocent faces,those tiny hands and feet,
the blue dress,the red belt,polished shoes,dirty smelly socks..

after all these tumultuous years, the now big ,mature faces of distant times amazes me,
how we all grew up,rather how life made us all grow up..
making us learn what is right,what is wrong,
to know the taboos,the stigmas from the ‘pure’, ‘allowed’ indulgings
how we all picked up tit bits from those days till today,how we learnt how to condition our then free unconditional minds

How everything was our’s,and how now those same things have trapped us,caged us and we are yearning to be set free..
from being taken care of, to squandering,to falling,to getting hurt and to learning to walk up,dust things off and walk again..

Of all those faces,one face has just fascinated me,gripped me…for absolutely no reason..
Now the face is a little less beautiful than what it was,…but the fixation remains..
It’s like I am stalking a stranger,a strange thing…

With school,with that face..came tumbling back the smells,the musty smell of plastic colorful tiffin boxes,
packed with a mother’s oily snack,but with love and with her tiredness of waking up at 6 in the morning to go through one more ritual a mother goes through..
sweaty faces and ruffled moods at the end of a day,the bad smell floating out of the urinals..

all seem wrapped up together in this fragnant tiny school bouquet..

One of the most important periods of your life,one of the earliest but also one that is forgotten for being early chronologically..
it lies on the desk of your messed up,fucked up life…under torn love letters,under crumpled papers,under the groans of adulthood…

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6 thoughts on “an adult and her school mood now..:(

  1. The in-coherent-mind has become too poetic of late. A nice matured lookback at a significant period in one’s life that has not been given the importance that it deserves in most of our lives. Now in my adult mood, if i look back at my school days, i realise i have been atrocious at art, rotten at english, nuts at maths and a mystery in history 🙂 I want to relive school with this realisation. Is it possible ??

  2. haah adi and of all people you ask this..common ,memories dont stay confined to one place ,they just are with you,in you and in the things around you!!

  3. really took me back to st.vincent’s…a other minor detail came back to me together with tiffins & recess…the numerous hawks swooping down to snatch away the box from your hands…also punishments received due to a 1mm long finger nail…..past is a strange thing…when you r experiencing it only the flaws & shortcomings glare at you but once it starts receding into the past you yearn for it more & more…thanks for the nostalgia……

  4. read somewhere.. child leaves home with a dream in his eyes…dreams may come true..but child never returns!es perfecto!

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