Feeling a little under the weather today.Throat hurts,exhaustion levels are very clearly visible on my face and swollen eye-lids,despite having slept a lot,having difficulty keeping myself propped up for long.But secretly I am kind of happy.
Because I feel like I have been running around the office,working a lot,infact ever since I joined,I am telling you there has not been a single day when I could think ‘Oh ,today is going to be easy on us,we could perhaps get off earlier’.But it never happened even once,and this weekend was horrible.This past week and the run up to the weekend was just awful.Working hard on many things ,suddenly something deciding not to function well as if a part of a plan to rattle me,and then me shifting into a panic mode to try to set it right.And plus I just felt like it could all have been fine if I did not feel like we are being watched every fuckin time! I want to reiterate, for me,it is very difficult to live with a sense of compromised personal freedom.I feel like I have lost my sense of humor around here.I think I have a great sense of humor,yes,infact I will go flaunt about me some.I rarely do and I will do it at the cost of losing my humility!!!
I am a funny person,I can make witty comments,but you also need to be able to understand me.I can also be very stupid funny(if the other kind is sophisticated funny that is).I do make my colleagues laugh a lot,but sometimes I miss my kind of funny.Well I do not miss it miss it,but I know they will not be laughed at too much so I have refrained from making them.
hmm whatever,I am digressing.So the point is I am okay with being sick if I can just rest at home for a day,and feel happy.I have four tiny cute birdies now.I love how tiny and fragile they seem,I have started noticing their distinct individual personalities.Like one of the birds always sleeps on the upper front half of the cage,clinging to the cage with it’s tiny claws.It would seem uncomfortable right? I sometimes become the devil and feel like poking them,but lucky for them,my fingers won’t go through the slits in the bars.I have also noticed a bully in one of them,the bully scares the rest away by flapping its wings at like 500 flaps per sec !
I like having them in my room at night,assures me that someone is with me.
I am asking all of you,my dear dear friends,to please pray for me.There is something on my mind,and those of you who know,know that it is very important to me,it will help me be with J and his awesome family and my friends,Otto and my city raleigh.Yes,I am 27,and I feel excited about this year.I want to be there,that place in my life now too!
Okay so the sickness is acting up,need to rest up some.