waiting for fall..

Summer is slowly and surely coming to an end.  I can feel it.The weather still does play games but this unbearable heat and sultriness will gradually fade into the slight chill and breeze of Fall.If I have not made it amply clear yet,I am very eagerly waiting for the next season to begin.I am not a summer person.Sure I can get to frolic around in swim-suits and small skirts and tees,relax by the pool ,rarely get the chance in North Carolina to bask in the occasional afternoon thunderstorms, but I also get to sweat a lot,get dizzy by the obnoxious heat and humidity and I want out.The beginning of Fall marks the happier times of the year for me.It reminds me of my first fall 3 years back in the United States.I started school in the fall of 2007.I came here with all those stereotypical new-to-the-country questions about how cold will be cold and how deceptive the sun could be in the cold weather and all of them got answered with the progress into winter.And I was never disappointed with what I got to see.
With fall will come a whole new set of adventures again.New fuller clothes to wear.No fear of your make-up being washed away.No fear anymore of driving in our ac-lorn car and no more tantrums and excuses to not go out and explore.Fall just marks the beginning of the holiday season to me.And if there was a smell I could assign this season, it would be a mix of cinnamon, of the freshly baked brownies and cookies, of the savory pumpkin spice.
I am looking forward to a nice beach trip in the Outerbanks with friends.Halloween,thanksgiving and then culminating in the favorite holidays of all time,Christmas!! This time I have a lot to be thankful for.Well not unlike everytime, but this year I will have to be extra thankful. Everyone has a favorite season for a different reason. My reason for fall and winter might sound gloomy and sentimental,rather than the immediate physiological effects it has on my over-all disposition.I like the slight chilliness in the air around that time of the year.It makes me feel extra nostalgic and philosophic.It reminds me of where I came from.India! It makes me ache for home,the chaos surrounding almost anything and present everywhere,the incessant honking of cars and cacophony of human voices penetrating every crevice of your space.In suddenly losing all that to a much deeper quiet and isolation,I find myself very drawn to the intricacies of human life.Or to be more specific,I grow more aware of my own life in a foreign country.All the lovely rows of houses,the well-kept shrubs neatly tucked into their own designated corners,the empty swings and benches in the parks,the softly singing trees,the strictly demarcated lanes all remind me of how isolated our lives can be.Everyone sticking to their own designated positions and not criss-crossing.I find this hauntingly attractive.It is gloomy sure and this gloom gets to me too,make no mistake about it.But I would much rather be away from chaos and confusion and ponder over this inheritance of loss than be in the center of it all and lose my mind.And somehow th cold air,the dipping temperatures,the days gettin shorter and nights getting longer just trigger these deeper thoughts.
The holidays are my much needed respite. Something to cling on to.I do not belong to here and from where I come, there are way too many holidays to snatch away your appreciation for them. But I just easily took to slipping in here.Sometimes it is as easy as slipping on a new coat,but may be it is deeper than that and way too complicated to analyse. One never loses their identity.They just add layers of new socio-cultural influences to it. I just felt comfortable with those layers of identities and found the right place for my gloomy calling.It might get challenging if you have shut your mind to new experiences.
Fall may officially begin on a much later date but I can feel its onset.It will begin with the days growing darker,with the loneliness closing in on you,with the feeling of being away from your own country getting challenging and stronger and with the leaves of the trees changing colors.But when it is here,it will get to the very silent corners of your heart.

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