It is 11:33PM EST. I am savouring the last night of my 20s.
Yes, am dragging this a little too far. I am feeling very emotional about this suddenly.
My twenties… they will soon be over.
Time flew by. Sometimes I wake up and ask myself, how the hell did I land here? How in the world did I make it through these 30 long years. Seems long but also really short. Like yesterday I was still living with my parents and living a very different life.
Will I ever be able to put a handle on things?
Will I want to, I think is the more important question?
Cause if I did there is no magic left. No charm. It becomes the everyday and the mundane.
I want to start the next chapter on an even more brutally honest note: I might never change really. I just need to accept me this way. That is my biggest challenge in front of me. Not seeking somebody else’s approval but seeking mine. I have to understand that I am fine the way I am, I am in no way less equal and I am in competition with nobody. I am here to live and soak my own experiences through my own perspective and build my very own unique life.
Goodbye my twenties…You were young, wild, unabashed, restless, impulsive and a great teacher. You made me supremely confident in my early twenties, fooled me into thinking I could do anything. Then, you restrained me and calmed me down in my mid-twenties and taught me a lesson or two. You then made me humble and gentle and a wiser girl in my late twenties. Thank you.
I am not going to see you ever again but someday when I write that book I have always wanted to, you are gonna be the star of that show.
Happy 30th birthday to me. ..:)