My parents left for India yesterday. I knew I was going to be a mess, more so because I knew I couldn’t cry in front of them and show how desperate I was feeling inside to just hang on to them. But yesterday I just could not hold it in. I hugged my mother and cried intensely for just a minute or two and hid my face on her warm shoulder. It was comforting and warm and so peaceful on her shoulder. She hugged me back and my dad was sad seeing me cry. They wanted to make sure there was nothing else that was bothering me.
I reassured them that it was just this uncertainty aspect of all this that made me so weak that moment. I then stood and waited for a bit while they cleared security. I blew them a big kiss and finally walked away.
The house feels a lot empty now. I guess this is how the house feels most of the year and it grows back on me. But it will take a little bit. I cannot explain how much those two people mean to me. Yes, we sometimes argue and drive each other crazy because that is what parents and children sometimes do. But I know that they are always, always there for me and praying for me and my well-being.
I don’t really know the point of writing all this. I guess am just a bit dazed from this past month. They visited us from India, I turned 30, we had one big vacation up in the New England area and before I could even stop to gather my thoughts we were off to see my sister in Michigan and then of course there was work all along. And finally, yesterday we just made that trip to the airport that we always dread.
I was just thinking to myself- here we go. Now we will have to go through one more Fall, one more Winter and one more Spring before I can even think of seeing my parents next year. That is if they can even make it. Seems like a lot to go through when looked at like this. But then time flies too. It does.
Another year of waiting and growing old together with my husband, cat and dog before another summer and another visit..