Today would have been perfect. Just the kind of day I had been praying for, hoping for and fantasizing.
Rainy, cloudy, grey, sombre and a day off.
I would dream of this perfectly timed day. I had noticed how the last few times it rained I was at work or in class and I was just aching for that moment when I would have a day off and wake up to a beautiful, rain-soaked day.
And it happened today!
But my mind is so cluttered right now. I have so much on my mind. All silly, stupid ,first world problems kinda stuff. But it is there nevertheless. And it is preventing me from enjoying this moment. This perfectly timed day.
I have lost interest in studying for this semester’s classes. Since I got into nursing school, I do not feel nearly as motivated to maintain a good grade. I mean, yes, who am I kidding. I still get nervous and I need a little bit of nervousness to keep me in check. I like the microbiology class. It is atleast interesting. But the other Humanities class is a joke.
I really have no interest in learning about how technology evolved. Actually, scratch that. It is interesting and I would like to know. But I do not want to be tested on it.
I am half-assing my way through it.
Guys, I am really so so excited about nursing school though. I have been meaning to channel this excitement and energy and write something about it. But that has not happened yet. I just sometimes do not like coming face to face with my emotions. They just overwhelm me.
I really feel so motivated and so passionate about this field. I love knowing about our body, the science behind it. Why stuff works and how.
It is damn interesting, right?
I need to buy a stethoscope. I think I will have to discipline and whip my ass into shape. I will have to study everyday, go to school, go for clinicals, work, be a part of our home-life, and I have to tend to our pets. I think it will be a tough 1.5 years but it will be worth it, right?
I remember 2 years back I had written a post about the events of my day and how overwhelming they felt and had aptly titled the post ‘Light at the end of the tunnel’. Or something like that.
I feel like I am getting there.