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It is OKAY!

You know what, it is OKAY to not have strong, bordering on almost fanaticism opinions.

Time and again, I go through these terrible phases of self-doubt and it takes tremendous effort and many moments of self-esteem bashing to finally arrive at the simple, simple conclusion- it is OKAY to be who you are.

You do not have to cater to social pressure about liking one political party over the other or having to explain yourself why or why not. It is okay to be uninterested.

It is okay to even be on both sides.

Nobody should hate you or ridicule you for that because there must have been a thought process that made you believe so. And, hey who are they to judge? They are not right. They might be ignorant, the same thing they are tagging you as.

Unless, you are one very closed-minded person who just jumps onto any bandwagon without knowing any facts or without showing any loyalty to yourself and your convictions. Yes, this is also a form of stereotyping and we all do that. But we also know, there are some who are like this.

Everywhere I see, I see women very strongly push their opinions on mothering and parenting down other women’s and other mother’s throats. You know what, not every mother might find breastfeeding in public a great idea. Not because they are embarrassed or because they are bad mothers who put the public before their child’s hunger. But it could also be because some women are just genuinely self-conscious. They might not be comfortable.

Just because you think so, does not make you right.

The same applies to me.

And let me tell you one more thing. I hate the word ‘feminist’. I have always hated it.

That does not make me any less of a woman. I care for issues concerning us, just as much as the hardcore feminist next door. But I do not need an unnecessary tag.

I am a humanist. Is that even a word?

What is a feminist anyway? What does she do/think differently that she had to have a special tag created for her?

I don’t get it! Educate me. Please.

I have my own opinions on women issues, specially in India and other such countries where it is a predominantly patriarchal society and women are treated as second-class citizens. As much as I would love to place all of the blame on men and their thinking, women are as much to blame too. May be not every women has the power to speak up for herself for fear of circumstances, but even the ones who can, are passing wrong signals to their daughters. Instead of teaching them that they are equal, they tell them to stop wanting the same freedom. They judge us for asking more from life, tag us ‘rambunctious’ when we express ourselves and say somethings happened to us because we deserved them if we were embracing our sexuality.

So, seriously, stop the double-standards.

Me too.

I am not above my own accusations.

After all the tossing and turning and social bullying, I come to the same conclusion again and again- I am entitled to my own opinions, to my view of the world and to respect for being who I am. Whoever that is.

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2 thoughts on “It is OKAY!

  1. My newest and biggest annoyance are new moms who now know everything and have an opinion about every goddamned thing. It’s, like, shut up, lady, you pushed a baby out of your vagina four days ago. I hardly doubt you are an expert on parenthood.

    I have this girl on my FB feed, fucking drives me insane, with her non stop postings about public breastfeeding and co-sleeping and wearing wraps instead of just normal baby carry-ons. Ugh. Women were mothers before the internet, too, y’know.

    1. Yeah! I had to hide several people because of just how opinionated they were and how much, I felt, they were subtly just forcing their ideas on people. You know, I do know some mothers who are gentle and kind, and nice to other women. I just feel over it. This whole ‘I am right, you are wrong. Just wrong. There are no two ways about it’ attitude.

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