I feel like I am not doing something right here. I am spending the night before a difficult exam surfing the web, reading blogs, wasting time galore on reddit and doing just about everything but that last minute panic studying.
I do have most part of the day though to study since my exam is at 2:30 in the afternoon. Is that it then? Am I just that dumb or that supremely confident?
Either way, I do not like the sound of it and yet I am not able to bring myself to study.
Well, the thing is, I have also been studying through the entire week, off and on, and so I am kinda over the material. I am at that crucial stage where I feel “Well, fuck it!”. So!
I feel so, so weird that I have not been to work after Black Friday. Since, am going supplemental at work starting January, all the PDO hours I had, that I worked so hard for, will be reduced to zero. They will not even be paying me its equivalent since I have been employed at this place for less than 3 years. So, I spoke to my manager to see if I could atleast get a day or two off to use it and enjoy my ‘vacation’ and my manager being just super nice and understanding did grant me 2 days off. Then, I was also able to work out one more day off by donating my shift to a co-worker. Voila! 3 days off. But in reality, it turned out to be one full week off. It just feels surreal. I feel like I have lost touch with work people and I will feel odd when I walk into work on Tuesday morning. Plus, I might be grumpy.
I guess I might have to get used to not seeing work people as much after school starts because I will be only able to pick up shifts here and there. I guess what I mean is, I will just have to work with everyone and not just my select and familiar bunch.
You know, I am the kind of person who does not like change. I get comfortable very easily. As much as I know that I am not a conformist and I have no problems stepping outside my defined zones and all that, I also am a creature of simple, fixed routines when it comes to everyday stuff. Like, I always take the same route to work (well, duh!) and it would greatly frazzle me if one unfortunate day, my exit were closed and I had to find a detour. I will probably get over it and manage but my immediate reaction will be that of panic. That is why I feel tremendously heroic when I am able to take a new route back home or survive that obvious life-death situation. That is a blog-worthy thing, right?
I guess, I better get back to ‘trying‘ to study. That will make me redeemable