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claudine..

If today had been any crazier at work, I would have really punched somebody in the face. In the fucking face!

It was bonkers. It was just unreal. Today especially but honestly this whole week has sucked. It has just been such a heavy load. Everyone is tired and feeling it. My thighs have been hurting so bad and yesterday I slept from 7 in the evening to 5:30 this morning. I was that tired!

I had a great nurse and very awesome co-workers but even they could not salvage today. It was just terrible. And now it is done. This was my last regular, set-schedule shift of this year. I go back next the day after Christmas and then come January I will be picking and choosing my shifts.

Honestly, sometimes I feel bad that I am not that awestruck as I used to be about the end of another year, beginning of a new one, the quickness of events in our lives. I feel like this everyday shit has robbed me of my wonder and incredulity.

I will also try to write more. I have so much to write and talk about. I do not write so that you read, I write so that I can read later too. If you read and play along, great! If not, fine by me too.

But yesterday I had a pretty interesting (not really!) start to my day. There was a very grumpy and bitter aide from the night before who was passing on report to me and she was just being outright rude. Not just to me, to everyone! Unnecessarily being mean and defensive. I mean, I really like to give people the benefit of the doubt, may be they had a bad day, may be they are just over-worked. But I can sniff an out and out bitch. This lady was one of them. I could not take it that she was answering my sincerely honest queries about the patients I was going to take care in such a mocking tone. I politely but sternly asked her if she had a problem. She says “No, but nobody has ever asked me such a question in the last 50 years!” And I said, well this is a new time and things are going to be different. Okay? I wanted to punch her to be honest. But I was just very calm and collected and I freaking stood up for myself. I felt very good about it. Later, another aide told me she was glad I did so.

I felt like it was just something that I did not want to get into but I will not be talked to in that tone. I pay a heavy price for being nice and gentle and people, the bad kinds, mistake this to be meekness. Well, I will have you know, not everyone has to be loud and waving a finger in your face kind to be ‘strong’. The quiet ones can and are just as strong too.

Anyway, that incident got very quickly lost amidst the chaos that was today. I am just glad am home.

I plan on spending my short break cleaning the house a bit, getting my study table more organized and study friendly, listening to some lectures, watching some TV and just dreaming.

Oh! Guess who had a perfect semester ending with a 4.0 GPA?!? This bragger here. Sorry, but I am proud and I need to express it somewhere since I have not told a soul, except the husband and parents. It just had to come out.

Here is my newest absolute favorite gift- a pair of badass combat boots from American Eagle. It was my Christmas gift from John. I love it!

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