Wow! Okay, fell off the face of the earth much??
I won’t make any excuses or apologies my few handful of readers.
I just have been busy, like crazy super busy with school and then the meagre free time I have, I have not felt any interest in writing and challenging my mind further.
You know, I just cannot write. It takes preparation for me, discipline and the delicate balance between I gotta write beautiful poetry every single time to I just wanna free my mind and write whatever.
I was losing those battles.
To sum it up, life has been busy. I find myself studying for an exam, for a lecture, studying right after an exam, after lectures, going to clinicals, coming back and being buried neck deep in depressing paperwork.
I have never, never liked paperwork or writing papers. They are to me what Toby was to Michael Scott. And this program has a lot of paperwork. Oh Joy!
This is the last leg of the semester. I finish in exactly a month.
I have been also going through this very existential phase, like questioning,wondering, searching for the many deeper reasons. Why am I here? What are we? sometimes I feel like I am living in somebody’s dream. All these faces and images flirting by my face and the past a ever present thing. Wow, I totally made up an oxymoron.
I have always,always been intrigued by space and astronomy. When I was a child I wanted to be a space-scientist and it made my parents extremely proud.
Such beautiful tender dreams of childhood.
But anyway, I still read up on space related stuff now and then and I stumbled across some beautiful awe-inspiring pictures. One of them is the image of Earth as seen from Saturn. It just makes me go, wow, that is amazing and also wow, that is scary. You know? Like, how small and insignificant are we and how conveniently we all forget that. All of us. I do not always exactly go about the daily business of life holding up a sign saying ‘ look at the big picture, all the time.’
I had been so overwhelmed a while back about school, myself, our lives and finances and all the typical stressors of life. Then, I saw this picture at the right time. It had a very calming effect on me. Like, hey,calm down, slow down, it does not matter. All of this is not greater than you. Do your best and then leave the rest to that weird energy that flows in this universe. (I have a problem with calling that energy God per se.)
Now, when I start feeling stressed again, I try to close my eyes and think of that picture. It does not resolve my issues for me, but it helps.
Wow, haan, just wow!!!
I will tell you this much, facts like this kinda push me towards believing a)we might not be alone afterall and b)in the concept of God, the mastermind.