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Laying my soul bare..

Am laying in bed now.it is 12:14 am and I want to sleep in peace. I am warm and comfortable, I have john next to me,the cat and the dog around and I am happy. But I feel generally sad,bothered by something.  Its not one of my perpetual worried state. I am.not concerned right now about money or career or school. I am just bothered by something. I feel sad and melancholic. I know I am.not unhappy.not now. Not this particular time. I think every now and then the very act of living in this world, dealing with people and stuff just makes me feel this way. I feel far removed from everyone and everything.Like a misfit. Then I start feeling that lump in my throat, light boulder on my heart feeling.
Dear maker of mine, please just protect my very fragile heart. I don’t ask for more time on earth. More than what is alloted to me. I have sometimes asked for less. But I want my loved ones and my furry friends close to my heart,I want to shield them from pain and I want to fight this fight to stay myself no matter what.
Amen.

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