I think one of the biggest factors in my absence from active blogging is that looming fear I face every single time I see a blank canvas in front of me, every time I am faced with the prospect of thinking of an appropriate opening line.
These seemingly small but significant fears have turned me away from blogging like I used to so many times. It is just humiliating. All the emotions, the fears and issues I want to blog about with so much rage and passion are also the ones turning me away. May be it is all a setup.
There is one other little part to this absence too. Which is more legit and buyable. I have indeed been busy with summer school. It is nursing school packed into 2 and a half months, so yeah, pretty intense. I have been doing good on exams so far. Two more big exams and I will be done. Done with second semester of nursing school. Then, India. Then, 3 more semesters. Then, life shall begin. Or so it seems at times. I get so caught up with the fact that I am in school, money is so so tight, we virtually have no life other than school, work, home and that ever constant worrying about things that I feel like the ‘real’ life will start only after I finish. I know, all of this shit is also life. But you know I cannot always be zen about things. I am very fragile these days, the smallest of things sends me into a tizzy. I just have no apologies and no excuse for my disposition. And it ain’t that sunny.
But the things that make me the happiest these days, I mean of course after the cat and dog and all other animals, are the most material and shallowest of things. My nail-polishes.
I am so obsessed with polishes and nail art these days. It makes me happppy!