letting it go..

Today was one of those days. Days when I obsessively dive into the life of another person, read their blogs, their stores, rejoice in them, want to somehow be like them in certain ways and then devour them. All in one day. It happens to me a lot. Do not get me wrong. I love myself, my life and it way it is. Do I occasionally crave other things from people’s lives and question why do somethings appear to be so much easier with some, but not with me? Yes I do! But all said and done, I like my life the way it is just fine. I really, really do.

And today I was not stalking somebody else because I was sad or anything. I was just going through a phase. So, she is a blogger and she also happens to be a local blogger coincidentally. I have a love-hate thing with her blogs. I love her style, her DIY crafty knick-knacks and her cats. Then she got pregnant. And since I was not or anywhere nearly close to getting pregnant ( not that I wanted to for that matter right then, but it was more about not even having the option to be one then), I just could not empathize with her. Then a few other posts happened where I felt she sounded like this beautiful flawless woman with delectable taste running into all rich first world problems. (Like, unable to pick out the right color for her 1 year old’s room, or not finding the right finish dresser from Anthropologie, because you know, one has to have the right freaking dresser or else what’s the point.). Then, she got pregnant again. Which obviously made me more jealous. ( And yes, it sounds sad and mean, but bear with me for a bit.) So, basically, she fell off my radar a bit. We were both in different phases of our lives.

Today, somehow I bumped into her blog again. Cause, like I said, I really do think I like her sense of style and just find her and her blogger sister very graceful. One blog-post lead to another, and I wanted to somehow re-read that post she wrote when she discovered she was pregnant for the first time. I remember feeling happy for her (despite my jealousy, I am essentially a good person folks!) and loving that post. So, I decided to re-visit that. I loved it so much that I started reading many more, mostly on motherhood and pregnancy. I think it is because I am now definitely more in that phase where I want these things for me, for us. I feel ready for it. I know what she meant when she wrote after 14 months of trying and losing hope, she decided to stop feeling sad/angry/jealous and just resigning to God’s plan for her.

Even though I am not someone who believes in God, like from a certain religion ( I like the word universal power/force better), I understand people’s need to believe in a God like entity. Cause if not, we are all just little specks, living on this giant blue ball, which is just circling away in this scary space-time continuum. I mean, how can we not have that need to believe in something.

Well, anyhoo, I felt great re-connecting with her. I find some of her things a bit snobby, like always shopping from the higher end stores and I do not think I have ever heard her even mention Walmart. But then I thought, who am I kidding! I am snobby as hell. If I had the money, I would shop high-end too. Not that I look down on other places, cause believe you me, I do not. One of my happinesses is finding a great commodity at a clearance rack price. I do loathe Walmart however. The one by our home has ruined my image of all Walmarts I think. Horrible management and shoddy attitudes will do it for me.

And, I think I found the cutest thing on the internet today. I will be needing this someday for sure.

This cute owl night light made of recycled glass. (just not ready to justify the $38 tag on it.)



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