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tea time ramblings

I am having a cup of tea, not the Indian chai kind, just a tea bag in a cup of hot water with a little bit of milk and sugar. Makes me feel very English and I love feeling English.

Today is day 3 of being cloudy and rainy. I am not complaining though. Just stating things as they are. I had to miss clinicals this week due to an upset tummy issue. Thankfully it is not the nasty bug going around. I needed that day off to rest up. Had been feeling very drained. Normally I do not ever want to skip class or clinicals. Just makes me very anxious. But this time I secretly cherished it. I slept in a bit and studied when I could. I do have to do a makeup assignment in lieu of clinicals but it is not such a biggie.

Today is my day off. I am supposed to be studying like a maniac for test number 2 on Monday. But instead I am just taking it easy and studying. I hope I get that big push to study over the weekend. I have stopped by Target twice already in 4 days. Such a nice, happy place.

I have been trying to keep my moods more balanced and be more positive. I am not saying I am never allowed to talk about things that are sad or never allowed to have a meltdown but the meltdowns should be much spaced apart. And speaking of sadder things of life, I am still figuring out a way to handle the way I deal with them, because let’s face it, you turn around and there are a lot of things going on in our world that are just sad, scary and heart-wrenching. I get instantly depressed and feel myself plunging into a dark, dark pit. I have sort of become desensitized to human violence because we freaking go out of our way to hurt each other. But what gets me is animal suffering, and the very occasional spotting of a good human being. That is a oh-you-still-exist sort of happy-sad pain. I talk to myself these days when I find myself going to my dark place and explain that as much as I tried, I cannot save them all, I cannot end it all. I have to do what I can for the ones I can and that will count.

Anyway..I realize I am not your sunny, cheery, POSITIVE IN YOUR FACE person but I cannot help it sometimes. I feel for things that I feel for and it is just what it is. What I can control is not blabber about this stuff to just about everyone.

Well, moving on. I have less than a month of this semester left. Then, I will have the summer off. I will still have my externship but hey, I will be doing a freaking externship!! I am happy about it okay!

Leaving you all with a picture of my current favorites/most used products.

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