It is a very soothing and calming day today. The sun is out, the wind is kicking about all the dried up crunchy leaves around, school-children are chatting and walking past my window as I type this, a few cars are whizzing past and the cat and dog and I are in the home, nestled and sheltered from what’s unfolding outside. I like it that way. Ever since the time fell back an hour, I knew my old frenemy, SAD and my undiagnosed depression would creep up and decide to stay with me through the cold, dark winter. And I was not wrong. I have had some challenging days/moments. The intense race to just finish this last month of school, having to deal with some people and my social awkwardness has been tough some days. My only saving grace is my husband and the pets. I really do not know how I would have managed without my husband. It must be so tiring and emotionally taxing to have to live with a person whose baseline state is always a sad kind of happy. Even on days I am ‘happy’, there is that lingering melancholy. After yet another long talk yesterday, we decided my life needed some structure. A routine if you may. I need to wake up early even on days I can afford to sleep in, have a list of things to do and try to stick to them. No naps in the afternoon so I can sleep peacefully and undisturbed at night.
This morning I woke up at 6:15, got ready quickly, had coffee, went to attend a meeting which was a part of school-work, returned home around 1pm, ate lunch, then wen to ‘The World Market’ (ugh! I want EVERYTHING in that place), bought two boxes of red fox cupcake kits for my shower, walked about Ulta and Target and just got back home. Then, I walked the dog, soaked in some more of this beautiful late Fall day and now am sitting in a very comfortable and familiar silence. Its a beautifully calm feeling to me.
I must go now and attempt to study because I have yet another test on Monday. And, our laptop charger has decided to give up on us in my last month of school. So, am left with no choice but to step away from the laptop. Here is to that peaceful feeling in my heart and hoping it lasts a bit longer..