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I am very relieved and relaxed right now.

I passed that freaking glucola screening. I am not diabetic ya’ll. I celebrated with, of course, a candy bar afterwards. So, well deserved, won’t you say?

And despite it being a damp, messy start to my morning here in the city and I feeling lost and bitter, I feel a lot better now.

I am happy that I do not have to study right this second. I am happy that I have only 1 more day of clinicals left. I am happy that it is all coming to a good conclusion. This has been a great journey. Tough but so fulfilling.

I am not a big fan of the winter months, which in my opinion start right after all the holiday festivities are over. May be even after new year’s eve. After that, you realize, there is not much to look forward to. All the turkey has been eaten, all the ham has been served, all those sickeningly sweet holiday ads have gone off the air, family takes a backseat for a year and people are now scrambling to the malls to use their gift cards that ‘Santa’ so nicely hand-delivered them. Yeah, I do that too.

But this time, I will have so much to look forward to. The reason I brought up the whole winter thing is my state of mind. I become more withdrawn and numb. I feel more and more dark and ugly. And sad, not to mention. I cried out of sadness and bitterness the other night and had it not been for my dear husband, I would have continued to hold on to all those bitter feelings inside me. I needed an outlet and crying helped me feel calmer.

Anyway, why am I talking about this? I still have this nagging project to work on. Thank God its a group effort, cause I am up to no good here. I have zero interest and motivation left.

I wish I could just lay on the couch, watch netflix in my super stretchy yoga pants and be big and pregnant.

 

 

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