Today is my first day alone with my son. My parents left yesterday after a wonderful two and a half months. It was hard to say goodbye and I will still need my time grieving their absence but that is the thing about life. It must go on. It is a good and a bad thing. Due to some conflicting with daycare start dates, I had to switch around my shifts so I could be home today with the baby bird. I will go in tomorrow to finish the first 2 weeks of orientation. I cannot believe still that I am working on the floor I had been so wanting to work on since a year. It still has not sunk in. And might I add, I feel very proud of myself. I worked hard and I took a long time to arrive at this feeling. I feel like I am entitled to being a wee bit proud without sounding too full of myself. In fact, I am so proud of all my class-mates. We worked HARD in nursing school. So many hurdles were overcome, so many exams, early morning clinicals, unexpected surprises, what not! And we are all now on the other side of it working as real nurses now.
Well, no. Let me savor this feeling. So far I am truly loving my floor and my co-workers. Working under a good manager and with good co-workers is a deal-maker for me. Plus, I am learning so much!! It is a stressful job but I am enjoying it because I feel like I am home. This feeling is such a new feeling. I would look around at everyone during my under-grad and master’s days hoping someone atleast felt what I felt: uneasy, lost, clueless. I felt miserable every single day going in to work. My mother had to send me cheery messages every day to keep me going. It was this horrible sinking feeling. I am glad I was given a great opportunity to pursue what I thought I would be good at and that I took it.
Okay, now enough. Speaking of handling my first time all by myself with the little one, it has been going good for the most. A few meltdowns but for the most he is a happy and easy baby. We walked the dog, played a bit, read a book, took a nap together and bonded. I was able to accomplish some things too, like, hey! writing a blog post too. Score!
We both are alive and happy. That is all for now.