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nebula

I feel like I am going through my funk. Yet again. My funks are no surprise to people who know me but this time of the year they rear their ugliness pretty frequently. I just feel low. I cannot explain without opening up a whole can of worms and I really do not think I have enough mental strength to tackle that now. Also, I have noticed how I really do NOT cry very much. Like, you would think for all my low phases and mood swings, I would have no trouble crying. But you will be surprised to know I have a very hard time crying. I could not even cry when my MIL passed away. I felt awful. I mean I cried, but when I was alone and not nearly the amount I should have considering how sad I felt. I still feel horrible. I have this pit in my stomach whenever I think about her and realize I can never ever see her again. I get a small panic attack. My heart aches for her.

But the cold harsh truth of life is that it must go on despite all this. And here we go, sadly moving on.

Life has become so, so much more tough with becoming parents. Some days I am able to see the bigger picture and realize that we love our children and that’s what keeps us going. But some other days, that bigger truth sadly evades me. Our bodies, our minds are tired by the end of the day. Even if my husband and I wanted to argue or fight about who did more/who does more for our baby, we have no energy.

I have been up since 2. But I did go to bed at like 8:30 last night. I purposely kept myself up so I can sleep during the day. I am going back to work tonight. I am not at all feeling it. My mind is in this fog. And I keep feeling dizzy. It is quite alarming actually. I am feeling off balance just sitting still.

I am a month late but here is my Play by Sephora from October. I have not really used any of the products but I do like the box. Except the perfume sample. It is God awful.

IMG_7439.JPG

I am excited for my November Play to arrive soon. I already got a sneak peek at the products and am excited.

I am making a Bengali dish ‘bhajja moong daal’ for my lunch later when I wake up. I made The pioneer woman’s chicken spaghetti for dinner last night and it was very tasty! I plan on making  a few more of her dishes in the upcoming days  but only after I make her brown sugar oat cookies. Cooking makes my soul happy.

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